by Dr. Kevin Dean, President & CEO, Tennessee Nonprofit Network
I once had lunch with a new nonprofit CEO at the recommendation of a well-meaning foundation leader. I’ll admit, the moment he sat down, I was immediately put off. His demeanor, what he said, and especially how he said it, all screamed “I am very important, and you are not.” He hadn’t made the effort to do his homework about me before showing up. As he leaned back in his chair, a self-satisfied smirk plastered across his face, I couldn’t help but predict his swift and spectacular demise.
He was a master of talking at people, not with them. His monologues were filled with buzzwords and grandiose plans that, even to my ears, sounded like a hollow echo chamber of things he had read on a consultancy blog. He spoke as if he had single-handedly invented nonprofit impact and was about to revolutionize the entire nonprofit sector. The whole time, I just smiled, nodded, and ate my fried catfish, which, I must say, was far more interesting than anything coming out of his mouth. (Soul Fish is and always will be dear to my heart…and no, they didn’t pay me to say that!)
What he didn’t realize was that I wasn’t just some random person he was having lunch with. I had been a volunteer with his organization for years. I knew the players, the unpublicized challenges, the key funders, and the intricate political landscape that he was so blissfully unaware of. I even had a few documents in my satchel that I thought might be helpful, but I quickly realized he was in no state to receive them. He was too busy being the hero of his own story to listen to anyone else’s.
My prediction was accurate. He lasted a quiet eight months in the position before he disappeared from the nonprofit world as quickly as he had appeared. He was a cautionary tale, a walking, talking example of what happens when you mistake confidence for competence and a job title for genuine leadership.
Being a new nonprofit CEO is intimidating and overwhelming. It’s a bit like being dropped onto a stage with no rehearsal, a script you’ve never seen, and a live audience expecting a Tony-award-winning performance. Everyone expects you to swoop in like a superhero, to fix everything overnight, to conjure up money out of thin air, and to possess a preternatural wisdom that makes you all-knowing. This immense pressure can cause us to make decisions, say things, and do things that feel like the right move in the moment, but only end up making us look worse. We feel the need to impress, to prove ourselves, and to project an image of infallible genius. But this is the exact opposite of what great leadership looks like.
Instead of falling into that trap, here are five simple, yet profound, secrets that no one tells new nonprofit CEOs.
Secret #1: Listen More Than You Talk
That day, as my self-proclaimed “superhero” CEO pontificated, I barely said a word. He was so busy speaking at me that he never noticed my silence was a sign of a deeper knowledge, not disinterest. He was so focused on telling me his vision that he failed to realize I could have filled in the gaps and pointed out the landmines. He was speaking, but he wasn’t communicating. He was projecting, but he wasn’t connecting.
Many new leaders feel an immense pressure to arrive on Day 1 with a fully formed, clear vision for the organization. They believe this is what “strong leadership” looks like. They couldn’t be more wrong. This approach is not only unfair to you, but it’s also insulting to the people who have dedicated their lives to the mission you just walked into.
Your first weeks and months are not for broadcasting your genius; they are for absorbing the wisdom of those around you. That, my friends, is true genius. This means listening to everyone: staff, board members, clients, community members, and donors. Especially listen to those with institutional knowledge—the long-time employees who have seen leaders come and go. They hold the organization’s history in their hands, and as the saying goes, those who don’t know their history are doomed to repeat it.
By listening, you do two incredibly important things. First, you gain a nuanced understanding of the organization’s strengths, weaknesses, and unique culture. You find out what’s working, what’s not, and why. You discover the informal power structures and the unspoken rules. This information is invaluable and can’t be found in an annual report or a strategic plan. Second, you show respect. By giving people the space to share their experiences and ideas, you demonstrate that you value them, their expertise, and their contributions. You build trust. You make them feel heard.
And trust me, a CEO who listens, learns, and validates the people around them is far more powerful—and far more likely to succeed—than one who just talks. You can always talk later, but if you don’t listen first, no one will be listening to you.
Secret #2: Show, Don’t Tell
In the world of nonprofits, there’s a certain temptation to “puff up” and self-aggrandize. We want to prove our worth and show everyone we’re the right person for the job. We might find ourselves bragging about past successes, talking endlessly about our grand plans, or patting ourselves on the back for things that haven’t even happened yet. (I will admit – I have done this in the past and lived to regret it.) This kind of behavior doesn’t make us look confident; it makes us look either overconfident or, worse, deeply insecure. It’s a classic case of all talk, no action.
The best way to earn people’s respect and trust isn’t through a carefully crafted elevator pitch or a verbose mission statement; it’s by doing the work. Don’t just tell your staff that you have a plan to increase donor retention—show them by implementing a new, more personal communication strategy and sharing the positive results. Don’t just tell the board that things are getting better financially—show them the quarterly reports that reflect the budget cuts you’ve made or the new revenue streams you’ve secured.
Anyone can talk the talk. The world is full of people who can articulate a beautiful vision and use all the right buzzwords. But the people who truly succeed are the ones who put their heads down, roll up their sleeves, and walk the walk. When you focus on action and results, your work speaks for itself. Your staff, donors, and board will see your commitment and competence without you having to announce it. Wins, no matter how small, build momentum and credibility faster than any amount of grandstanding. Do the work, and the rest will follow.
Secret #3: It’s Okay to Say “I Don’t Know”
This one might feel scary. As a CEO, you’re expected to have all the answers. The pressure to appear infallible is immense. But let’s be real: you don’t know everything, and you never will. The moment you pretend to, you’re on a very slippery slope.
When you’re asked a difficult question—by a board member, a major donor, or a concerned community member—the worst thing you can do is make something up. You might think you’re saving face, but you’re really just blowing smoke. And trust me, people can smell it. They will figure out that you’re full of crap, and when they do, your credibility will vanish in a puff of smoke.
Saying, “I don’t know, but I will find out,” is one of the most powerful and honest things a new CEO can say. It shows you’re a careful and thoughtful leader. It demonstrates that you value accuracy over ego. It also gives you time to seek out the right information and consult with experts on your team. Making decisions or answering questions without all the facts can have devastating unintended consequences down the line. It can hurt your organization’s reputation, damage relationships, and, most importantly, negatively impact the very people you are supposed to serve. Be careful, be humble, and be honest.
Secret #4: Learn, and Be Seen Learning
There is nothing worse than a new leader who isn’t willing to professionally develop themselves. This secret ties directly into number three. Sometimes we avoid showing up to training, workshops, or conferences because we don’t want people to think we don’t already know everything. This kind of thinking is a huge mistake.
A great CEO is a lifelong learner. You need to show everyone—your staff, your board, your donors—that you are committed to being the best you can be. This means publicly and enthusiastically engaging in professional development. Go to workshops, read new books, attend sector-specific conferences, and find a mentor. By doing this, you’re not just improving your own skills; you’re also modeling good behavior for your staff. You are signaling that learning is a key part of who you are and a core part of the organizational culture you want to build.
Your willingness to learn demonstrates humility and a forward-thinking mindset. It shows that you understand the world is constantly changing, and staying ahead requires continuous learning and adaptation. This is an incredible source of strength and inspiration for your team.
Secret #5: Don’t Believe Your Own Press
When you have some early success, people will sing your praises. You’ll get accolades, media mentions, and credit for everything that goes right in your organization. It’s a natural high, but it’s also a very dangerous one. It’s easy to start believing the hype and thinking you’ve “arrived.”
But here’s a reality check: a CEO is accountable for everything that goes wrong, too. The wins are great, but they are often the result of the hard work of countless people before you and around you. Your job is to facilitate that success, not to claim it as your own. Staying humble is not just a moral virtue; it’s a critical part of a CEO’s survival.
The world of nonprofits is unpredictable. A small scandal, a funding cut, or a negative news story can undo years of hard work in a single day. The same people who put you on a pedestal can just as easily knock you off. So, stay curious, stay grounded, and remember that you are one newspaper headline away from losing it all. Keep your ego in check, remain focused on the mission, and always remember that you are a steward of a greater purpose, not a superhero on a victory lap.