by Kevin Dean, President & CEO, Tennessee Nonprofit Network
Read the first part of this blog series here.
Last week, a coworker and I were visiting Nashville for a slate of meetings, and I somehow managed to forget her and leave her at the restaurant. Yes, I left her! I had to turn around and drive back to pick her up! I will never ever ever ever live this down, and I don’t think I can apologize enough, even though she luckily found it funny and knew that this was part of my burnout manifesting. I’m going to owe her lunch for the rest of my life.
Why am I sharing this embarrassing story? Because it’s the perfect illustration of what happens when burnout sneaks up on you. And trust me, it’s a sneaky little devil. Burnout shows up in the weirdest ways, including stranding your coworker at a Green Hills Mall eatery!
We throw around “burnout” like it’s just another word for being tired. But it’s so much more than that. It’s a full-blown syndrome, a culmination of stress, exhaustion, and feeling like you’re running on fumes. In my case, it was a gradual descent. I’d always been a high achiever, juggling a million things at once, but this time, it felt different. Burnout invades your whole being, and I hope you don’t ever have to truly feel it.
In my case, burnout crept up on me gradually. I’ve always been a high achiever, driven by a need for perfection and a relentless pursuit of excellence. This mindset served me well for a long time, but it also made me vulnerable to overwork and neglect of my own well-being. I found myself working longer hours, sacrificing personal time, and feeling increasingly drained. I also have realized in this self-reflective process that this isn’t the first time I’ve been burned out, but it’s the first time I’ve been able to name it, have done research on how to correct it, and have been proactive in mitigating it before it sabotages all of my good work!
The turning point came when I attended a National Council of Nonprofits conference in Oklahoma City earlier this year. By then, I was already starting to experience the signs of burnout, but I kept telling myself, “It’ll be fine. Just take a vacation. You’ll be fine. It’s all fine.” I was like that meme with the dog in the burning room saying, “This is fine.” The keynote speaker, Cait Donovan, a renowned podcaster and burnout expert, shared her insights on the signs of burnout and the psychological and physical manifestations of burnout. Her words resonated deeply with me, and I realized that I was exhibiting many of the symptoms she described.
Cait’s talk prompted me to take a closer look at my habits and lifestyle. I recognized that my perfectionism and lack of self-compassion were contributing to my burnout. I was constantly pushing myself to do more, be more, and achieve more, without allowing myself time to rest and recharge. And, after 2+ years of working to transform a regional nonprofit association into a statewide one, working every night and weekend since 2022, I didn’t feel like I could stop, lest this whole thing goes up in smoke!
With this newfound awareness, I decided to take action. I spoke to my board about taking a sabbatical, and to my surprise, they were incredibly supportive. They understood the importance of rest and encouraged me to take the time I needed to recover. My staff were incredibly supportive, too, as they always are, but this time it was different. They were supportive because they cared about me as a person. What. A. Gift.
One of the biggest “aha” moments in my burnout journey is that I can name it. I know what burnout is versus being tired. I know the warning signs now. I can catch it before I lose myself and undue all of the accomplishments our team has achieved. And it’s about time – this is the worst burnout I have ever felt. My mind literally feels like it is short circuiting. The parts about myself I like the most – abundance thinking, empathy, making lemons out of lemonade, not sweating the “small stuff,” tuning out the noise, viewing my job as a gift rather than a chore – are hard to find these days. I don’t recognize myself. I am not the leader I can and should be, and I want to be that person again!
But now – the countdown is on! In just a few hours (97.53 hours to be exact, but who’s counting?), I’ll be stepping away from my desk and embarking on a much-needed sabbatical. This break isn’t just about rest and relaxation; it’s a culmination of a journey of self-discovery and a proactive response to the signs of burnout.
I’m watching a scary and inordinate number of nonprofit leaders opt out of their roles. In fact, 51% of leaders told us in our 2023 State of the Mid-South Nonprofit Sector report that they’re leaving their roles in the next 3-5 years. I’m not going to be a statistic in this nonprofit war on burnout, and neither should you. The first step in recovering from burnout is knowing that you are burned out and naming it. If you think you are experiencing burnout, click here for more information and check out Cait Donavan’s amazing podcast FRIED: The Burnout Podcast here. You can also see Cait Donovan speak on October 3rd at the Tennessee Nonprofit Conference in Memphis. More information here.
See you on the other side of my sabbatical, folks!