by Dr. Kevin Dean, President & CEO, Tennessee Nonprofit Network
Landing my first Executive Director role was a dream come true. The culmination of years of hard work, dedication to the mission, and a burning desire to make a real difference in the world. I was super excited, ready to dive headfirst into the challenge, to lead a team of passionate individuals towards a shared vision of positive change. And while the reality of the job has absolutely lived up to the idealistic aspirations that drove me to pursue this path, it’s also been a trial by fire. A baptism into a world of complexities and contradictions that no one prepared me for.
The truth is, no amount of training, no leadership seminar, no well-meaning advice from seasoned professionals can truly prepare you for the unique challenges of being a first-time nonprofit Executive Director. It’s a role that tests you in ways you never anticipated, pushing you to your limits and forcing you to confront your own vulnerabilities. I can say with all certainty that I am more humbled, more aware of my own vulnerabilities, and less idealistic than I was when I became a first-time Executive Director in 2011, but I’m also more confident in my decisions, aware of my strengths, and able to navigate more complexity than ever before.
There were moments of intense exhilaration, of course, the kind that comes with knowing you’re making a tangible impact on the lives of others. But those moments were often intertwined with feelings of isolation, of self-doubt, of being utterly overwhelmed by the sheer weight of responsibility. And I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why didn’t anyone warn me about this?”
It felt like there was a secret handbook, a hidden guide to navigating the intricate world of nonprofit leadership, and I hadn’t been given the password. I was stumbling through the dark, making mistakes, learning hard lessons, and wishing I had someone to illuminate the path ahead.
That’s why I decided to create my own handbook, of sorts. Not a prescriptive guide filled with rigid rules and formulas, but rather a collection of honest reflections, hard-earned wisdom, and practical advice born from my own experiences in the trenches. This isn’t about dwelling on my failures; it’s about transforming those stumbles into stepping stones for others.
If I can help even one aspiring or newly-minted Executive Director avoid some of the pitfalls I encountered, to navigate the challenges with a little more clarity and confidence, then this effort will have been worth it. Consider this your insider’s guide to the unspoken truths of nonprofit leadership, the things they don’t tell you until you’re in the thick of it:
1. The Loneliest Job in the World:
The Executive Director sits at the apex of the organizational pyramid. You are the ultimate decision-maker, the one responsible for steering the ship and navigating the often-turbulent waters of the nonprofit world. While you have a board of directors to provide guidance and a staff to implement your vision, the buck ultimately stops with you. This can be an isolating experience. You may find yourself grappling with difficult decisions, facing external pressures, and bearing the weight of responsibility with limited outlets for genuine support and understanding. The loneliness of leadership is a very real phenomenon, and it’s something every Executive Director must learn to navigate. It is vitally important to find other nonprofit leaders who share your same challenges. No one else in the world will truly understand. Back in 2011, my friend Olliette and I started our roles as first-time EDs at the same time. We had many a margarita where we shared our challenges together, and it was better than therapy sometimes!
2. Humility and Honesty are Your Greatest Assets:
You are not infallible. You will make mistakes. You will face setbacks. And that’s okay. In fact, acknowledging your failures and being honest about your shortcomings can be a source of strength, not weakness. It allows you to learn from your mistakes, build trust with your team, and foster a culture of transparency and accountability. Humility is not about diminishing yourself; it’s about recognizing that you are part of something larger than yourself and that you need the support of others to succeed. When you fail, don’t beat yourself up too much. Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward armed with new knowledge and experience.
3. The Chief Fundraiser in Disguise:
While you may have a dedicated fundraising staff and a board that is committed to development, the ultimate responsibility for securing the financial resources your organization needs to survive and thrive rests with you. I hear often from new leaders that, “I have a board to do that” when talking about fundraising. No, no, you don’t. You are the face of the organization, the chief storyteller, and the primary relationship builder with donors.
4. Board Governance Will Make or Break You:
I want to shout this from the rooftop: Your relationship with your board of directors is critical to your success as an Executive Director. A strong, engaged board can be an invaluable source of support, guidance, and expertise. However, a dysfunctional or disengaged board can undermine your efforts and create significant obstacles. Understanding the principles of good governance, building strong relationships with individual board members, and effectively managing board dynamics are essential skills for any Executive Director. Invest time in educating yourself about board governance best practices and proactively cultivate a healthy and productive working relationship with your board.
5. Someone is Always Watching:
As the Executive Director, you are the public face of your organization. You represent your mission, your values, and your impact to the world. This means that your actions, both professional and personal, are subject to scrutiny. You are always “on,” even in your off hours. This can be a challenging adjustment, but it’s an important responsibility. Embrace your role as an ambassador for your organization and strive to embody its values in all that you do. This doesn’t mean you can’t be your authentic self when you’re off the clock. You don’t have to dress up everywhere you go. But maybe don’t be a Karen in public? Not that I have a tendency to “Karen out,” as my friend says. But I have been in situations where I wasn’t my best in public, and people remembered…
6. Calculated Risks are Essential for Growth:
The nonprofit world is constantly evolving. To stay relevant and achieve your mission, you need to be willing to take risks. This doesn’t mean being reckless or impulsive. It means carefully assessing opportunities, gathering data, and making informed decisions that have the potential to advance your organization’s goals. Calculated risk-taking is an essential leadership skill, and it’s one that can pay significant dividends in the long run. If you come on as a new ED and take the organization backward or leave it stagnating, you have failed, my friend. And if you get too carried away and upend everything without buy-in or support, you’ve also failed. Good luck with walking that tightrope, but know that you have to move forward to get to the other side.
7. Praise is Scarce, Criticism is Abundant:
The work of a nonprofit leader is often thankless. You will pour your heart and soul into your organization, working long hours and making difficult decisions, often with little recognition or appreciation. When praise does come, it may be fleeting and overshadowed by the constant barrage of criticism and negativity that comes with the territory. Learn to find satisfaction in the work itself, in the knowledge that you are making a difference, and in the small victories along the way. Don’t let the lack of external validation discourage you from pursuing your mission with passion and dedication. My Achilles heel has always been my need to be liked, and it was a gut punch every time I would receive criticism or rejection when I was younger. I have learned to take whatever nugget of learning I can from feedback, but I can now also filter out unproductive noise.
And there is a lot of unproductive noise as a leader. A. Lot.
8. You Need a Coach, Mentor, Therapist:
The demands of nonprofit leadership can take a toll on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It’s essential to prioritize self-care and seek support when you need it. An executive coach can help you develop your leadership skills and navigate the challenges of your role. A mentor can provide guidance and advice based on their own experiences. And a therapist can offer a safe space to process your emotions and develop strategies for coping with stress and burnout. Investing in your well-being is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.
9. Self-Doubt is Inevitable:
Imposter syndrome is rampant among nonprofit leaders. You may find yourself questioning your abilities, your decisions, and your worthiness of the role. This is normal. Don’t let self-doubt paralyze you. Acknowledge it, challenge it, and seek support from trusted colleagues and advisors. Remember that you were chosen for this role for a reason. You have the skills, the experience, and the passion to make a difference.
10. Don’t Believe Your Own Press:
As you achieve successes and gain recognition for your work, it can be tempting to start believing your own hype. Resist this temptation. Stay humble, stay grounded, and remember that the work is not about you. It’s about the mission, the people you serve, and the impact you are making in the world.
11. The Nonprofit is Not Yours
While you may feel a deep sense of ownership and responsibility for your organization, it’s important to remember that it is not yours. It belongs to the community it serves, the donors who support it, and the staff who dedicate their time and talents to its mission. Your role is to steward the organization, to guide it towards its goals, and to ensure its sustainability for future generations.
Leading a nonprofit organization is a challenging but incredibly rewarding endeavor. It’s a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks, joys and frustrations. I hope this has been helpful in uncovering some of the untold truths about nonprofit leadership. The goal here is not to talk you out of being a leader but rather preparing you for what’s ahead so you can meet the challenge more effectively the first time around. Good luck!