by Dr. Kevin Dean, President & CEO, Tennessee Nonprofit Network
Look, let’s get one thing straight from the jump: the world of consultants and salespeople isn’t a monolithic landscape of predatory vultures circling the vulnerable nonprofit carcass. This blog post is not about the many amazing consultants out there or the salespeople you rely to keep your nonprofit operating smoothly. We love them. There are truly fantastic consultants out there, brilliant minds who can guide you through strategic planning, fundraising, and program development. And yes, believe it or not, some salespeople genuinely want to offer solutions that benefit your organization. They’re the ones who listen, who understand your needs, and who build genuine, long-term partnerships. They’re smart, helpful, and truly care about helping you meeting your mission.
But, and this is a big but, not everyone is like that. Just like any profession, there are those who prioritize their own bottom line over your mission. There are those who use slick sales tactics and empty promises to manipulate you into buying something you don’t need. And, given the constant pressures nonprofits face, we’re particularly vulnerable to these tactics.
Running a nonprofit is like trying to build a sandcastle during high tide, while simultaneously juggling flaming chainsaws and answering emails about why the office coffee machine is perpetually broken. And right now? Well, the tide’s higher, the chainsaws are sharper, and the coffee machine is officially sentient and demanding a raise. We’re all drowning in a sea of grant applications, program reports, nebulous executive orders that feel pretty threatening, and the constant, nagging feeling that we’re one misplaced comma away from losing all our funding.
So, naturally, what we really need is a cheerful voice on the other end of the phone, promising to “revolutionize our fundraising strategy” or “unlock our organization’s untapped potential.” Because, you know, we haven’t already considered untapped potential while staring blankly at a spreadsheet at 3 AM.
Enter the Slimy Salesperson/Consultant (species: Homo Transactionalis), a creature known for its relentless feigned optimism and uncanny ability to ignore social cues. They are often mistaken for “Brilliant Consultants” and “Sympathetic Salespeople,” but these folks are very different. We have to make sure we see the red flags so we can identify the truly caring, brilliant individuals who can serve as our go-to for consulting or sales.
Picture this: you’re Executive Director Brenda, dealing with a burst pipe in the community center’s bathroom, a board meeting that’s about to devolve into a reenactment of the Roman Senate, and a voicemail from the state health department that sounds suspiciously like a subpoena. Your phone rings. It’s a number you don’t recognize.
“Brenda? Hi, it’s Chad from Synergy Solutions! I was hoping to grab 15 minutes of your time to discuss how we can partner to elevate your organization’s impact.”
“Chad,” you say, your voice cracking slightly, “I’m literally trying to prevent a flood. Can we reschedule?”
“Oh, I understand you’re busy, but I promise, this will be the most valuable 15 minutes of your week! We’ve helped organizations just like yours…”
And so it begins. The slippery, irritating, and sometimes downright malicious dance of the nonprofit sales pitch. Here are the red flags to watch out for, the warning signs that you’re about to be subjected to a masterclass in wasted time and empty promises.
Red Flag #1: “We can connect you with funders.”
Oh, honey, bless your heart. If finding funding were as easy as having Chad from Synergy Solutions introduce us to his “network,” we wouldn’t be surviving on lukewarm coffee and sheer willpower. This is the oldest trick in the book. It’s the equivalent of a street magician promising to pull a rabbit out of a hat, only to reveal a slightly damp hamster. Run. Run like the wind. Real funders don’t rely on salespeople and rarely on consultants to “connect them” to nonprofits. They don’t just throw money at organizations because Chad thinks you’re “doing good work.” If you want to connect with funders, do your research, write a compelling grant proposal, and build genuine relationships.
Red Flag #2: “I’d love to meet and learn more about your organization.” (Translation: “I want to sell you a CRM.”)
This is the classic bait-and-switch. They pretend to be genuinely interested in your mission, your programs, your impact. They ask insightful questions, nod thoughtfully, and then BAM! They whip out a brochure for a new cloud-based CRM system that promises to “streamline your workflows” (i.e., make you spend hours migrating data). Look, we appreciate the interest, but let’s be honest. We’re not stupid. We know you’re not here to volunteer your time. You’re here to make a sale. And that’s fine, but at least be upfront about it. Don’t pretend you care about our mission while secretly plotting to upsell us on a fax machine with AI capabilities.
Red Flag #3: “We have the answer!”
Ah, yes, the grand pronouncement. The consultant who claims to have solved all your problems, from board dysfunction to community apathy. They’ve got the magic bullet, the silver lining, the secret sauce. They’ve cracked the code! Except, they haven’t. Because if there were easy answers to complex social problems, we wouldn’t be here. We’d be on a beach somewhere, sipping margaritas and watching our impact metrics soar. The reality is, nonprofits operate in a messy, complicated world. There are no quick fixes, no one-size-fits-all solutions. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either delusional or trying to sell you something.
Red Flag #4: The “Jack of All Trades, Master of None” consultant.
“We do it all!” they proclaim. “Strategic planning, fundraising, board development, program evaluation, social media, grant writing, and we can even fix your leaky faucet!” Great. So you’re an expert in everything? That’s… suspicious. Nonprofits need specialists. We need consultants who have deep expertise in specific areas. We need people who have spent years honing their skills, not someone who dabbles in everything and excels at nothing. If you’re looking for help with fundraising, find a fundraising expert. If you need help with program evaluation, find someone who knows their way around a logic model.
Red Flag #5: The “armchair expert” with no lived experience.
“I can teach you all about board governance,” they say, while never having served on a board. “I can help you navigate the challenges of being an executive director,” they claim, while never having held the position themselves. How can you advise people on something you’ve never actually done? It’s like a driving instructor who’s never been behind the wheel. We need consultants who have walked in our shoes, who understand the realities of nonprofit work. We need people who have made mistakes, learned from them, and can share their hard-won wisdom. The same goes for salespeople. One of my biggest pet peeves is when a for profit firm tries selling an app or some the platform intended to help nonprofits but obviously has no clue what would be helpful for the nonprofit.
Red Flag #6: The “jargon juggler” who speaks in meaningless buzzwords.
“We leverage synergistic paradigms to optimize stakeholder engagement and create impactful value propositions.” What? Are you speaking English? Or are you just throwing random buzzwords together to sound impressive? This is a classic tactic used to distract you from the fact that they have nothing of substance to offer. They use big words and fancy phrases to make themselves sound smart, but when you peel back the layers of jargon, you find… nothing. Don’t be afraid to ask them to explain themselves in plain language. If they can’t, it’s a red flag.
Red Flag #7: Cause Marketing Gone Wild (and Demanding You Become a Sales Rep).
We love cause marketing. It’s a fantastic way to build partnerships and raise awareness. But there’s a line, a very, very bright line, that some for-profit companies love to gleefully stomp all over. Imagine this: a security company approaches you, promising to donate $20 for every sale they make, if you promote their company in every newsletter, social media post, and public appearance. Sounds good, right? Wrong.
When the sales don’t magically materialize, they’ll be on your case. “You’re not promoting us enough!” they’ll whine. “Why aren’t your followers buying our security system?” They’ll treat you like a commissioned salesperson, not a partner. Listen, we appreciate the gesture, but we’re not a marketing arm for your business. We’re here to serve our community, not shill your products. We can happily highlight your generosity and the cause-related product, but we are not your sales team. If a company pressures you to become their full-time sales force in exchange for a paltry donation, run. Run far, run fast, and don’t look back. Cause marketing is a partnership, not a hostage situation.
So, how do we navigate this minefield? How do we protect our precious time and resources from the clutches of the Homo Transactionalis?
- Set clear boundaries. Don’t be afraid to say no. You don’t have to agree to a meeting just because someone asks. Be polite, but firm. “Thank you for your interest, but we’re not currently looking for those services.”
- Use Tennessee Nonprofit Network’s Consultant Directory. If you want some truly capable, talented, and not-at-all-slippery consultants, check out Tennessee Nonprofit Network’s Consultant Directory.
- Do your research. Before you agree to meet with anyone, check their website, read their reviews, and ask for references. Don’t just take their word for it.
- Ask specific questions. Don’t let them get away with vague promises. Ask them about their experience, their methodology, and their track record.
- Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore your intuition.
- Demand specifics. Ask for examples, case studies, and concrete deliverables. “How many funders have you connected with other nonprofits? How much money was raised?”
- Don’t be afraid to walk away. If you’re not comfortable with something, don’t feel obligated to continue the conversation.
- Establish a “no unsolicited sales calls” policy. Make it clear that you don’t accept unsolicited sales calls and that you prefer to communicate via email.
- Build a strong network. Rely on referrals from trusted colleagues. Word-of-mouth is often the best way to find reputable consultants and vendors.
Ultimately, remember that your time is valuable. You’re doing important work, and you deserve to work with people who respect your mission and your resources. Don’t let the Homo Transactionalis distract you from the real work of making a difference. And if all else fails, just remember the immortal words of every seasoned nonprofit professional: “Oh, honey, bless your heart.” And then hang up the phone.